I Will Not Diminish My Own Greatness: Part 2

  I recently had another epiphany/experience that reminded me why I should not diminish my own greatness. Here’s the story:
   I had been interested in a guy for awhile, for longer than I care to admit. It was a secret crush; I did not let my feeling be known. I had let my hopes take me a little further than I should have: I thought that we would eventually end up together, but that he just didn’t realize it yet. He was nice to me, an acquaintance but not a close friend. He never expressed any interest in me or tried to “talk” to me or anything, just some casual conversation and some joking around. I reasoned that he was just shy, he didn’t know how to express his feeling towards me, etc. You know, the usual excuses that girls make when they don’t want to see the truth. I suppose that’s another blog post for another time
  But then, the clincher. My friend recently told me that she found out he had been dating a girl that we knew for a couple of months. I was crushed. For a minute. But then clarity began to come to me in many ways. And once the crush had been well, crushed, I began to see how I had been diminishing my own greatness the whole time.
  I would censor what I would say around him so that he would like me (or so i thought). I would stop myself from liking or posting certain things on Facebook for fear of what he would think of me. I basically hid a big part of my personality because I thought it would get him to like me. Only after the news came in about his new girlfriend and my hopes in that area were crushed could I finally see the truth: I was diminishing my own greatness to try to fit the mold of what I thought he wanted. Then, after all of that effort, he ended up liking a girl who is nothing like me at all. So why was I diminishing myself? Me watering my personality down didn’t work according to plan.
  So I came to this conclusion: never again will I diminish myself to try to fit with a guy or to try to mold myself into what I think he wants. Even if I did that and a guy ended up falling for the fake, watered-down me, eventually my true self would come out and the relationship wouldn’t last anyway because I wouldn’t be who he thought I was. There is absolutely no point in trying to diminish myself for a guy. I deserve a guy who will love me for me and who I can be myself around. If I have to water myself down to be with a guy, then I know that he wouldn’t be able to handle the real me and I don’t need to be with him anyway. I’ve finally learned my lesson: be genuine and be yourself. One day, the right man will come along and love me just the way I am. And I will feel free to be me: the lovable, real, and interesting me that I already am.


A Prayer for My Future Husband

Hey God, it’s me! I’m here to pray for my future husband, whoever he is. I know that You’re having me wait awhile to meet him and to be honest, sometimes I get tired of waiting! But I know that if waiting is Your will for me, then the waiting is good because it purifies my heart and helps me lean on and trust in You more and more as my Lord and Savior. So, here goes:

Dear Lord Jesus,

I pray that You will guard and protect my future husband. Please watch over him and guide him in Your ways. I pray that You will help him grow and develop a true, manly spirit. Please help my future husband grow in godliness. Please develop his character so that he becomes more and more like You every day. I pray that you help him develop leadership qualities so that he can lead our future married life according to Your will. I pray that he turns to You and seeks You in prayer for all aspects of his life. Please bless his work life and give him the strength and determination he will need to do Your will in the workplace (and in all other aspects of his life). Lord, please help him cultivate a spirit of love, patience, strength, purity, and wisdom. I pray that You shape him into the man that You want him to be. I pray that You help him grow into the man that is perfectly suited to me as my husband. I know that You know best what kind of man I will need.

Also Lord, please shape me into the kind of woman and wife that he will need. Shape me into the most perfectly suited helpmeet for him. Please help me grow in love, wisdom, and strength so I can support him and lift him up in our future married life. I pray that you cultivate in me the qualities of a godly woman, any qualities You think I will need to bless him and others. Please fill me with Your love and light so that I can spread it to others and to my future husband when we’re finally together.

And lastly, Lord Jesus, please guide Future Hubby’s steps to find me when You deem that the time is right. Please keep all counterfeits (a.k.a. guys that are not Future Hubby) away so that I can rest and wait peacefully in You and develop my relationship with You as I wait for him and afterwards. I will continue to pray for him and I hope that he is praying for me as well. I know that everything will go according to Your plan and that I need not worry. Thank You Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Empty Promises of the World

Many of those in the meet and greet line said, ‘I was curious about Jesus. I wanted to know more about Jesus. Because the world isn’t giving me what it promised’. – Clayton Jennings

What is it that the world promises, exactly? Love? Riches? Happiness? I believe that the world (especially the Western world) has promised us all of these things. We live in a time and a place where the world says, “You want happiness? Just reach out and grab it. Follow your wildest desires, and then you will finally be happy”. In this day and age, we follow every dream, desire, and yearning we’ve ever had and yet divorce, depression, and suicide rates have risen higher than ever in the last 50 years.

The world tells us that following all of our desires is good and healthy. If you deny or try to push away any of your desires, it’s “unhealthy” and you’re suppressing yourself. The world says it’s ok to go party until you black out. The world says it’s healthy to hook up with and sleep with as many people as you want – you’re expressing your sexuality. It’s all experience…or at least a really good story in the morning.The world says it’s ok to get high, live it up, party like a rock star. The world tells us that living for your own pleasure is what will make you happy. And yet how many times do the rock stars and celebrities check into rehab, die of a drug overdose, etc.? The people who have everything and live mostly for their own pleasure are the ones who are the most miserable. They who are admired by millions, make millions, and do whatever they please are the ones who are the most empty and hollow inside.

This is because the world does not give what it promises. The promises of the world are hollow and empty and will never truly satisfy the deep yearnings of our souls. Why? Because the yearnings of our souls are for something eternal, something higher than ourselves. That’s why we chase the elusive thing called Love (or what the world understands as love…more about that in another post). That’s why we constantly chase the newest iPad, phone, tablet, etc. We buy the object that the world has told us that we need to be happy, or at the very least make our lives really awesome. We use it and get all excited about it for a week or two, find out that it’s just ok, then put it aside for the next new thing. Somewhere deep down in our souls we realize that the stuff we buy is just temporal and in the end, pretty worthless. The happiness that we’re trying to find by chasing the latest fad can only truly be satisfied by One who is greater than the world. God is eternal. He is higher than us and He gives us purpose. All the things in the world we try to chase can’t give us our true purpose, they only keep us busy for a little while. God is all and in all. God fulfills all of His promises and none of them are ever empty. He has the Living Water we all need to fill our souls, and His well will never run dry.

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. -1 Peter 1:18-19